Bingeing – Michelle Sparkes

Bingeing

" I binge a lot. Sometimes I wonder if I’m going to die from how I abuse my body with food. I hate the way I eat. I have a bad relationship with food."  Elizabeth


I hear you Elizabeth. I’m so sorry. It’s a truly AWFUL place to be. I’ve just looked back at that time in my life (late teens) and can confirm I had very similar feelings. I couldn’t believe I didn’t burst or die. Part of me wanted to do both. I hated myself so much. My binges reflected both a desperate hunger to feel okay about myself and extreme self-punishment for not being the person I thought I needed to be. I went from the image on right to the image on left in around two years...

Age 15 - during the period of my hospital admission

Age 17 - two years following my hospital admission 

 I’m sorry to hear you are in this place. It truly is a living hell. Let me encourage you, there is a way through and forward…it’s not easy and it will take determination and effort but I believe you can get there. You just need the right information, skills and support. Most importantly you need to hear (again and again) that you deserve LIFE and nurture and good things. You really do. Below is an excerpt (from my book Illuminating Anorexia) describing what was happening for me through that period and how I understand it now as a recovered person. I hope it helps you feel less alone and that it shines some light on your current situation and options. It’s a copy of a copy so the quality is not great. If you want the original ebook or paperback you can find it here.

Don’t lose hope Elizabeth. There is a way forward. If you want help get in touch...

About the Author

Michelle is a physiotherapist and professional counsellor with lived experience of anorexia, EDNOS and binge-eating in her teen and early adult years. Founder of Women Worth their Weight, and author of Illuminating Anorexia Michelle is passionate about helping people recover from these health and life consuming problems.